We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
