Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
