she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
