the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
