I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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