I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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