do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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