Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
