we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Alive.
So much puke
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
