I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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