U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
PS: I just woke up from my shower
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
