omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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