what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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