when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
This is my gift to your gina
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
