Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize