The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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