we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize