Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
