respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
