I need help removing her.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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