Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
only you would photoshop your dick
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
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