I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
