can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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