good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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