thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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