It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
