Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
