I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
