My nipple is on Facebook.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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