that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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