i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
