I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
