I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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