After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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