Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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