operation harelip BJ is a go
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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