I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize