Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
