He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
