I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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