Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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