He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
