My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
