I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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