She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
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She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
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She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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