Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
