but the lizard people decide everything anyway
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize