I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
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i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
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Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
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