So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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