last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I didn't notice because vodka
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
