The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
