I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
