I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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