i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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