Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
