Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
