I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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