Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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