My boss' voice literally gives me gas
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
