no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
