best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
